I realized that I am massively burnt out and have no desire to do anything.
Now don't get me wrong, I AM occupied for the summer. I am tutoring and making a fair bit of money till I leave for Korea, and I am also studying for the GRE.
However, asides from the neccessary activities, I find myself hardly doing anything, and I do not feel the desire to do so.
After telling myself, No! This is summer vacation! I must find a way to enjoy my free time in a productive manner! I decided to try dancing, for two reasons; first, I'd at least get some excercise out of this, and second, why not, I need some excitement around here.
I choose a dance sequence that had the most cheerful music and most hectic movements that I can think of, for maximum energizing effect.
And as I attempt to dance along, I realize that my physique is simply not built for this type of movements. Maybe it's my size, or my "do-you-have-asthma" lung capacity, or maybe it may just be the way I was born. But I can't dance like the youtube video at normal speed! It's too fast! Other youtube comments that the dance is really fast are my only source of comfort.
In addition, I feel incredibly stupid dancing to this.
Other people look stupid dancing to this, I saw the videos. I probably look really stupid dancing to this. And yet I cannot stop. The more I dance, the more I see myself descending to THE DARK ABYSS, where all the people are dancing pathetically to this madness with a look of insane delight on their faces. No! I'm a normal person! I may dance along for entertainment, but I will not be dragged into the insanity with you freaks! Don't take me down to THE DARK ABYSS!
Maybe I should have picked another dance. Something that wasn't too well-known. Hell, maybe I should have just pranced around the room doing Caramelldansen or something. It wouldn't be as addictive yet embarrassing as this! After all my scoffing towards them, I am becoming one of them, as I dance to this cheerful little dance.
Despite the limitations of my body, I can somewhat imitate the first half of the dance. We shall see. Though I may one day master this dance, I vow to come out alive and unscathed from the ABYSS, keeping my sanity intact, but with an enthusiastic and invigorated mind.
I'm just trying to dance along to some silly clip, geez.
