Today is my last day before I leave for New York tomorrow.
It's also the last day of my responsibility-free bum life I've had for seven months.
And given the circumstances, it's also probably the last time I live in Prague full-time. Of course I'll visit during holidays as long as my parents are here, but it'll probably never be longer than several weeks/months anymore.
I was expecting to feel wistful, but right now all I feel is vague anxiety.
Maybe I'm too distracted by immediate things to feel wistful - there was an INSANE heat wave today, and there's last-minute packing and weighing our gigantic luggage, wondering if they'll all fit in the New York taxicabs when I get there.
There's also the intense all-day orientation session for three whole days (seriously, why?) and mom and I have been brainstorming on how to use what little time left to get settled in.
Of course, it also means the beginning of new, exciting things - the start of graduate school, the start of a new campus life in a University that I was quite lucky to get in to, the start of new friends, and a serious training in a profession I plan to pursue.
The biggest emotion I feel out of this clusterfuck, though, is the anxiety of having to shoulder responsibility after largely being free of it for seven months, the end of "childhood".
Technically, I have not been a child in years so this sounds a bit silly, but I meant childhood in the sense of being responsibility-free.
After one year in grad school (which will teach me the basics of my future job so I don't feel like a "student" that much), I'll get a job; not an internship or a part-time job or anything, but a REAL job, one which I am expected to support myself with.
With the economy and everything, I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed by the notion of beginning a fully adult life.
But I suppose when the time comes, I'll end up going through life okay.
Sorry if the post sounded like it was rambling. You know how 3AM blog posts are like.
