I was supposed to have dinner with a good friend of mine, who was going to DC in Fall semester and maybe study abroad in the Winter semester, so there was a good chance I might not see her again in college.
The friend asked if it was okay if she brought her roommate along.
"Sure," I said, because, unless there was a very valid reason, why deny her request?
But secretly, I was slightly intimidated; I knew her roommate. She was tall, pretty, and from what I can tell, quite the popular girl.
The fact that my friend's roommate was coming for dinner brought a sense of dread; what if she thought I was a complete loser?
I was coming back from working at the Daily; I was wearing a Michigan shirt and jeans. I had my glasses on and my hair was tied unfashionably in a ponytail. Anyone could see that I cared very little about my appearance. And a girl who looked like this was not the type of person any cool people would want to hang out with.
There was also the factor of feeling like I should look "Korean" enough.
Ever since being
Whoever said that girls dress to impress guys is a complete liar. Girls dress to impress other girls and put on an appearance that she is a person who matters, a person who is good enough to be "one of them" and thus not get shunned in a clique, a PTA meeting, or whatever social groups women make.
My neurosis was reaching into epic proportions. I have not been this nervous about dressing well since my first date in freshman year or other important occasions where I had to dress up. It's just a casual dinner, calm the fuck down! I told myself, but my mind was too freaked out to listen.
I rushed home while brainstorming what to wear for dinner. I showered while brainstorming what to wear for dinner. I dried my hair while brainstorming what to wear for dinner.
After much deliberation, I decided to wear a gray shirt with bicycle prints at the bottom (bought in Korea, even!), a pair of dark jeans, and flat white sneakers. I put on my contacts, patted on a bit of BB cream, put on clear lip gloss, opted against any other makeup (in case I look like a try-hard), put on a bracelet, sprayed some perfume, and took my big brown handbag, which was the fanciest-looking bag I had.
I thought I seemed pretty okay and that I could blend in. I walked out the door and went all the way to Sushiya.
As I opened the Sushiya door, my friend and her roommate greeted me, while dressed like this:
In case it's hard to read: Roommate has an 'Asian updo', 'scarf', 'thin top' and 'small handbag/purse'. Friend has 'eyeliner', 'pretty blouse', and 'French manicured nails'.
Even with all my primping, they looked collectively fancier than I did.
I had forgotten how much Korean girls adorn themselves with little things that I do not possess/give a damn about.
'Ah'
I have once again failed to look like "one of them".
(The actual dinner went okay though, I think.)
